Probably this headline should be 'Reality Bites', but instead we ask: Would you go to a restaurant called 'Somewhere Nice'?

Seven is building the Revolution. Photo: Restaurant Revolution / Facebook

HP uses restaurants that already existed, while RR happens in popups built inside shipping containers erected in five capital cities. Filming for RR has only just begun while HP has already been filmed (Nine’s producer, Andrew Backwell, told me this was to allow time to “craft” each episode from the many hours filmed).

She’s a fun, knockabout sort of lady, very opinionated but always down for a joke. 

The HP contestants were judged by each other and a panel that included Melbourne restaurateur Scott Pickett and London food critic Tom Parker Bowles, whose mother may one day be Queen of England. The RR contestants will be judged by each other, the general public (as measured by profitability), and a panel including restaurateur Neil Perry and critic John Lethlean (it will be interesting to observe his relationship with RR’s host Jock Zonfrillo, whose Adelaide restaurant once received a critical review from Lethlean).

Hot Plate judges Scott Pickett and Tom Parker BowlesPhoto: Supplied

The Hot Plate restaurants in Sydney are Rocksalt, 1/72 Allison Crescent, Menai and Chez Pascal, 440 Rocky Point Road, Sans Souci. You can go and eat there, but you’ll have no chance of being on telly (but it might be fun to guess if either of them was the winner). The Restaurant Revolution popup in Sydney is called Somewhere Nice (a name not popular with the judging panel), and it’s in Centenary Square, Church Street, Parramatta.

This column went to the opening night of Somewhere Nice last Sunday, and watched 22 year old chef Dom Aboud and his team prepare a “modern Australian” meal that included braised mushrooms with raw egg yolk, baked salmon on soy-soaked noodles with pickled carrot, and pannacotta on a “soil” of chocolate and chilli. Camera crews and producers provided a floor show by hovering over the tables, asking customers to critique the presentation, the taste and the service, and to record commentaries in a “diary room” confessional. If that sounds like your idea of a fun meal, or you want a chance to be on telly, you can queue for lunch at Somewhere Nice between Wednesday and Sunday, or for dinner between Wednesday and Saturday. You can’t book and it’s BYO.

To be fair and balanced, this column watched the first episode of The Hot Plate. The first restaurant judged, Christina's in Perth, looked to be about as enjoyable as Somewhere Nice. Most of the scores given by the judges and the other restaurateurs were around 5 out of 10. The minestrone soup was cooked to a pulp. The entertainment was provided by a mother-daughter team who argued with each other, and by a competing contestant who made amusingly bitchy remarks. It looks highly derivative of My Kitchen Rules, but Nine says it's not the formula that matters, it's the journey of the characters.

Restaurant Revolution and The Hot Plate are expected to start in the last week of July (as soon as MasterChef is over).

The producers of reality series like to say that their shows are similar to dramas in their reliance on narrative and character. In previewing the new array of talent quests that will cram the schedules in the second half of 2015, the networks have sent out biographical notes worthy of Mills and Boon for their cast of characters. That suggested a game – match the contestant with the series. The shows are 1.Restaurant Revolution (Seven); 2.The Bachelor (Ten); 3.The Hotplate (Nine) and 4.The Great Australian Spelling Bee (Ten). Now here are quotes from the bios for you to connect to those titles:

a) “Vanessa thinks that she has a great sense of humour but struggles when it comes to stressful situations. She wants everyone to be her friend.”

b) “Ebru, a financial portfolio manager from Melbourne, said: ‘I don’t see putting yourself out there as a bad thing. I always search for love and I am sure it will come knocking soon.’”

c) “We might look like girly girls, but our personalities are definitely not. We’re almost tomboys at heart,” says Nicole, 28, who loves nothing more than going fishing with her dad.

d) “Reciting the alphabet at 18 months, reading at the age of two and interpreting languages by three, Tej’s love of words is infectious.”

e) “He is intelligent and strong-willed … Conrad is naturally critical and struggles to reign himself in at times.”

f) “Nols (Nola) … is very loud and has a real zest for life. Upfront but fair, Nols will call you out and speak her mind if she thinks you’re wrong. She’s a fun, knockabout sort of lady, very opinionated but always down for a joke.”

g) “Flying solo doesn’t scare this brave Gen Y’er, although he does worry people may think he’s arrogant for the decision to go it alone.”

Answers: a) 3; b) 2; c) 1; d) 4; e) 3; f) 3; g) 1 (it's Dom, from Somewhere Nice).

Source: The Sydney Morning Herald, David Dale, July 18^th 2015
Originally published as: Probably this headline should be 'Reality Bites', but instead we ask: Would you go to a restaurant called 'Somewhere Nice'?